On Noble

Through the bars of a large enclosure 
  The village ladies intently stared, 
  Where a gorilla with massive composure 
  Was impassively combing his hair. 
  They were shamelessly interested, 
  Eyeing devoutly a certain spot, 
  But me mother's especially requested 
  I refrain from telling you what. 
  Brother Gorilla! 

  The door of the circus lock-up, 
  Where the noble brute had been put, 
  By an administrational cock-up 
  Was unwisely left unshut 
  'I'm going to lose it at last,' he cried, 
  Swinging lissomely out of his cage, 
  Referring, of course, to his chastity: 
  He was just at the difficult age 
  Brother Gorilla! 

  Those self-same ladies who previously 
  Had been licking their lips from afar 
  Did a bunk, which shows how devious 
  And whimsical women are. 
  In the path of the lovesick monkey 
  There were two who wouldn't budge: 
  A little old lady all shrunken, 
  And a petty sessions judge. 
  Brother Gorilla! 

  The old girl said 'It would be surprising 
  And unlikely in the extreme 
  If anyone found me appetising, 
  And beyond my wildest dreams!' 
  The judge intoned with tranquillity: 
  'To take me for a female ape 
  Would be the height of improbability'. 
  Even judges make mistakes. 
  Brother Gorilla! 

  It would be curious and uncanny, 
  Say, if the choice were up to you 
  To ravish a judge or a granny 
  And you didn't know which to do. 
  If I were in such a position 
  And the choice had got to be mine, 
  I'd beg the old lady's permission 
  But go for grandma every time. 
  Brother Gorilla! 

  Though the gorilla is very proficient 
  In the role of a paramour 
  His mental equipment's deficient 
  And his eyesight's awfully poor. 
  With a palaeolithic leer 
  He gave the old lady the miss 
  And, grabbing the judge by the ear, 
  Gave him an introductory kiss. 
  Brother Gorilla! 

  In time the gorilla's desires 
  Were more or less gratified. 
  The judge, being rather biased, 
  Couldn't see the funny side. 
  He was kicking and screaming and wailing 
  When his moment of truth had come, 
  Like those wretches he orders daily 
  To be taken away and hung. 
  Brother Gorilla!