UM

[Intro:]
Alright, I lay the chorus first
Here we go now

[Chorus:]
My mom loved valium and lots of drugs
That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her
Because my mom love valium and lots of drugs
That's why I'm on what I'm on 'cause I'm my mom

[Verse 1:]
My mom, my mom, I know you're probably tired
Of hearing 'bout my mom, oh-ho whoa-ho
But this is just a story of when I was just a shorty
And how I became hooked on va-al-iu-um

Valium was in everything, food that I ate
The water that I drank, fuckin' peas on my plate
She sprinkled just enough of it just to season my steak
So everyday I'd have at least three stomach aches

Now tell me, what kinda mother would wanna see her
Son grow up to be an under-a-fucking-chiever
My teacher didn't think I was gonna be nuttin' either
"What the fuck you sticking gum up under the fuckin' seat for?"

"Mrs. Mathers your son has been huffin' ether,"
"Either that or the muthafuckers been puffin' reefer"
But all this huffin' and puffin' wasn't what it was either
It was neither, I was buzzin' but it wasn't what she thought

Pee in a tea cup? Bitch you ain't my keeper
I'm sleepin', what the fuck you keep on fuckin' with me for?
Slut you need to leave me the fuck alone, I ain't playin'
Go find you a white crayon and color a fucking zebra

[Chorus:]
My mom loved valium and lots of drugs
That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her
Because my mom love valium and lots of drugs
That's why I'm on what I'm on 'cause I'm my mom

[Verse 2:]
Wait a minute, this ain't dinner, this is paint thinner
"You ate it yesterday, I ain't hear no complaints did I?
Now here's a plate full of pain killers, now just wait till I
Crush the valium and put it in your potatoes ya'

Little motherfucker, I'll make ya sit there and make that re-
Tarded f**kin' face without even tastin' it
You better lick f**kin' plate you ain't wastin' it
Put your face in it, ‘fore I throw you in the basement again

And I ain't givin' in, you're gonna just sit there
In one f**kin' place finnickin' till next Thanksgiving and
If you still ain't finished it, I'll use the same shit again
Then when I make spinach dip, it'll placed in the sh**

You little sh** wanna sit there and play innocent?
A rack fell and hit me it K-Mart and they witnessed it
Child support your father he ain't sent the sh**
And so what if he did, it's none of your dang business kid!"

[Bridge 1:]
My mom, there's no one else quite like my mom
I know I should let bygones be bygones
But she's the reason why I am high on what I'm high on cause

[Chorus:]
My mom loved valium and lots of drugs
That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her
Because my mom love valium and lots of drugs
That's why I'm on what I'm on 'cause I'm my mom

[Bridge 2:]
My mom love valium now while I am
There's a party animal, I am what I am
But I'm strong to the finish with me valium spinach
But my buzz only last about two minutes

But I don't wanna swallow it without chewin' it
I can't even write a rhyme without doin' it
My valium, my valium...

[Verse 3:]
Man I never thought that I could ever be a drug addict
Nah, f**k that, I can't have it happen to me
But that actually what has ended up happenin'
A tradegy, the f**kin' past ended up, catchin' me

And its probably where I got acquainted with the taste, ain't it
Pharmaceuticals are the bomb mom, beautiful
She killed a f**kin' dog with the medicine she done fed it
Feed a f**kin' asprin and say that it has a headache

"Here want a snack, you hungry you f**kin' brat?"
"Look at that, it's a Хanax, take it and take a nap! Eat it!"
But I don't need it! "Well f**k it, then break it up!"
"Take a little piece then beat it, before you wake Nathan up!"

Alright ma, you win, I don't feel like arguin'
I'll do it, pop it gobble it, and start wobblin'
Stumble, hobble, tumble, slip, trip then I fall in bed
With a bottle of meds, and a Heath Ledger bobble head

[Chorus:]
My mom loved valium and lots of drugs
That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her
Because my mom love valium and lots of drugs
That's why I'm on what I'm on 'cause I'm my mom