A Simple Desultory Philippic

I been Norman Mailered, Maxwell Taylored 

 I been John O'Hara'd, McNamara'd 

 I been Rolling Stoned and Beatled till I'm blind 

 I been Ayn Randed, nearly branded 

 Communist, 'cause I'm left-handed 

 That's the hand I use, well, never mind 

 

 I been Phil Spectored, resurrected 

 I been Lou Adlered, Barry Sadlered 

 Well, I paid all the dues I want to pay 

 And I learned the truth from Lenny Bruce 

 And all of my wealth won't buy me health 

 So I smoke a pint of tea a day 

 

 I knew a man, his brain so small 

 He couldn't think of nothing at all 

 He's not the same as you and me 

 He doesn't dig poetry. He's so unhip that 

 When you say Dylan, he thinks you're talking about Dylan Thomas 

 Whoever he was 

 The man ain't got no culture 

 But it's alright, ma 

 Everybody must get stoned 

 

 I been Mick Jaggered, silver daggered 

 Andy Warhol, won't you please come home? 

 I been mothered, fathered, aunt and uncled 

 Been Roy Haleed and Art Garfunkeled 

 I just discovered somebody's tapped my phone